reluctant resolution

One year ago I was blonde.  Ryan and I had just moved to New Zealand to live with our Kiwi friends.  I had submitted to my first southern hemisphere summery Christmas. I was excited for our plans to traipse around the world a bit.  

2010 didn't align completely with my expectations....but that's okay. We've learned to be pretty fluid with our planning and to only expect that all our plans will change.  It was a good, full and important year.  

I've been pretty satisfied with my anti-blogging stance.  Occasionally a whisper of ambition would run through my head telling me that I should be blogging and keeping track of our lives....for our own benefit and to help keep others more properly updated.   These were supported by a small barrage of "Do you have a blog?"s and "You should be blogging!!"s.   But if there's anything I'm good at, it's knowing myself.  It might just be unhealthy how self aware I am.  In any case,  I knew without a doubt that while keeping a blog is a clever idea and I can easily conjure up romantic images of sitting in a coffee shop typing up witty anecdotes about our oh so interesting lives.... instinctively I know that reality is that I will never have time or feel like writing and within about five minutes I will be spatting the word "blog" with an intense disdain of the added anxiety it has brought me as one more thing on my to do list that I don't want to do.   

So I've been happy to stick to facebook and skype as my modes of long distance communication.  

But because I'm stupid and optimistic....and easily persuaded to do things I know will make me miserable in the long run.....I am starting a blog.  Because my mom keeps telling me I need to (apparently she thinks that my rants to her regarding myself or social issues should be heard by other people as well.....maybe so she isn't the only one who is stuck listening to my inane ramblings) AND because I keep sensing this gut feeling that 2011 is going to be a semi-critical year in the Thomas' life.  

New Years Eve I was up on the roof of my friend's house in Bangkok trying to see the fireworks that were easy to hear but not so easy to see through the tall buildings.  And true to my stupid habit of being more present in my thoughts than in my surroundings.....I was paying most attention to my internal despair at realizing that I had somehow in the past month or so slowly let the idea of starting a blog change from something I was in no way going to actually do....into something that I  had decided to do although I don't think I had fully become aware or it up until that point.  

I didn't make any resolutions this year.  But I am here blogging.  I'm not thrilled and I'm a bit intimidated.  But I'm here.   

(Also, much to my relief, Ryan will be blogging here also!  Yay!)