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| For our ten year wedding anniversary, Ryan and I had some photos taken. I also wanted a few pictures of just me, something I could keep from my 20s. My mom made the quilt in the picture, I found the headband at my grandma's while helping her with some sorting and the book (Trudy Phillips New Girl by Barbara Bates) is one of my favorites I read so many times growing up. |
I am turning 30.
When I was younger, I used to want to die once I had turned 30. I believe when I felt this way was also when I thought 17 would be the perfect age and that I would want to stay 17 forever. In all my wisdom I had determined by the time I was 30 all the fun things in life would be over. My opinion of fun included falling in love, getting married, and I can't remember for sure but possibly have babies. Apparently I wasn't interested in raising those babies once I was 30, however.
So now I am about to turn 30. Thankfully, my perspective has changed and I have no desire to die. I'm not too bothered by the idea of being older. I have met so many lovely people with older ages but young souls. I now am of the opinion that your lifestyle defines you more than your age. I understand what people always say about not feeling old, no matter what their age is. When I was 20 I used to think 23 was SO old, that 33 was ancient.....but I don't really view any age as old anymore. I can imagine being 83 and not feeling old.
While I'm not feeling too bad about entering a new decade (30 is the new 20 I've been told....and I keep consistently hearing that the 30s are better than the 20s for women), what really DOES bother me is I don't want other people to think I'm old. I don't want to look old or be written off as old. I suppose that shouldn't matter to me but oh well, it does. I also don't want old people health problems. I've actually started considering what things I want to do in my life before my body can't keep up. I took a contemporary dance class this past summer and realized that my body is aging and I won't be able to something like that forever. I was nearly a decade or more older than everyone else in the class.
I have started using retinol cream every night but regardless I have wrinkles in my forehead and fine lines under my eyes that don't go away. I look at pictures from when I got married and finally understand why everyone was telling me that Ryan and I looked so young. Magazine articles always segregate fashion or makeup or skin care in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Now I suppose I'm supposed to pay attention to the 30s section. The bad news is that my best beauty fix ...to make me feel good/look good or feel like I look good...is still to get a tan (second only to the prospect but so far non-reality of losing 20lbs). I don't get the chance to tan too often (which is probably a good thing) but I still feel a million dollars better when I have one. Bring on the wrinkles and skin cancer!
So on September 6th I will be 30 years old. My little sister Cali will turn 21 on September 5th (tomorrow!). I was 9 years old when I FINALLY found out that I had a sister, born the day before my birthday. I've always said she was my early birthday present from God. So while I've been thinking about this past decade and wondering about my next decade, I've compiled a list for my sister Cali that I thought she might find interesting.
10 things I learned in my 20s:
1) To not be driven by ambition as I was in my early/mid 20s....it makes me stressed, anxious and unhappy.
2) That I'm happiest when belonging to a community and am able to invest in people and a life outside of work.
3) How to be present and not so wrapped up in my head (started making it a habit).
This article from the blog zenhabits.net really helped me. I usually rush through taking showers because I feel like it's keeping me from my day....but I've started practicing presence and when I do, I enjoy showers and the a.m. getting ready routine so much more.
4) To incorporate personal bliss often into daily life.
5) Don't make decisions based on fear. There will always be one good reason not to do things. Not making a decision IS making a decision.
I so often hear people making excuses not to do something based on fear. It's easy to do and I try to be very attentive to fear creeping into my decisions. I recently read this comment in a book and I think it is so true. We too often let the one good reason not to do something stop us from doing it, despite the several good reasons there still are for going ahead.
"I soon observed there is always one good reason for not taking a proposed action. Often four good reasons may say 'go,' but one valid reason says 'stay.' It has happened so often that I can almost call it 'Snyder's Rule.' I was challenged when I came across Ecclesiastes 11:4: 'He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.' ...Ask yourself, 'If I don't do it now, when will I do it? Am I just taking the easy way out?'" - Al Snyder
6) If you are not proactive, life will happen to you. Don't just talk about things you want to do, do them or schedule to do them.
Earlier in life you will talk about things you want to do someday or try someday or be someday....by the end of your 30s you have discovered WAY more things you want to do than you can fit into your life so start doing those things right away because if you don't you'll get to the end of your 20s and feel like you've lost of decade of opportunity.
"As I don't know about tomorrow, I never save the best for later." -Paulo Coelho
7) How to eat to feel good (non-processed, slowly, etc.) Thank you Michael Pollen! :)
8) Minimalism!! So freeing!
9) I learned and keep learning a lot about love. Writing about it would take pages and pages. Maybe someday.
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to... us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2
10) It isn't sacrificial or glamorous to love hurting, oppressed people. It's the same as loving your family or friends. Once you have created a space where you personally develop friendships with people who have suffered injustices, it will be the most natural thing in the world to fight for their dignity in any way you can. If you allow yourself to romanticize it or believe that it is a huge sacrifice, it will be easy to decide it is too big for you to do. It's not. And in our globally connected world it is entirely possible for every single person to love at least one other person and make their life better.
"We can not do great things, only small things with great love."
- Mother Teresa
I've been thinking a lot about my 30s too. That could probably be another post but here are a few quick thoughts.
I hope to learn/practice in my 30s:
- To actually do silent retreats, practice solitude, etc. Creating space for solitude is one area of my life that always slips to lowest priority. It's time.
- To take better care of my body (yoga, dance, regain more flexibility). Beach detox - DO IT.
- Some activities that I am still waiting to do properly or haven't done in a long time (sailing, acting)
- A few more travel destinations that are on the top of my extensive list. I won't get everywhere in my life but in the next few years I want to be sure we travel to India/Nepal (climb to base camp of Mount Everest while my body can still pull it off!), Israel/Jordan, more of Southeast Asia (of course) and fingers crossed for Greece/Turkey.
- And for anyone who is wondering....nothing set in stone but if we are going to be blessed with a kid/kids....we think by the time I'm 35 it'll be time to move in that direction.
I just read a novel about a women turning 50. I'm more than halfway there but for now I'm pretty satisfied with being 30. I have at least one things going for me: my neck skin is staying more or less in place for now. :D
