dirty thirty

For our ten year wedding anniversary, Ryan and I had some photos taken.  I also wanted a few pictures of just me, something I could keep from my 20s.  My mom made the quilt in the picture, I found the headband at my grandma's while helping her with some sorting and the book (Trudy Phillips New Girl by Barbara Bates) is one of my favorites I read so many times growing up. 

I am turning 30.  

When I was younger, I used to want to die once I had turned 30.  I believe when I felt this way was also when I thought 17 would be the perfect age and that I would want to stay 17 forever.  In all my wisdom I had determined by the time I was 30 all the fun things in life would be over. My opinion of fun included falling in love, getting married, and I can't remember for sure but possibly have babies.  Apparently I wasn't interested in raising those babies once I was 30, however.  

So now I am about to turn 30.  Thankfully, my perspective has changed and I have no desire to die.  I'm not too bothered by the idea of being older.  I have met so many lovely people with older ages but young souls.  I now am of the opinion that your lifestyle defines you more than your age.  I understand what people always say about not feeling old, no matter what their age is.  When I was 20 I used to think 23 was SO old, that 33 was ancient.....but I don't really view any age as old anymore.  I can imagine being 83 and not feeling old.  

While I'm not feeling too bad about entering a new decade (30 is the new 20 I've been told....and I keep consistently hearing that the 30s are better than the 20s for women), what really DOES bother me is I don't want other people to think I'm old.  I don't want to look old or be written off as old. I suppose that shouldn't matter to me but oh well, it does. I also don't want old people health problems. I've actually started considering what things I want to do in my life before my body can't keep up.  I took a contemporary dance class this past summer and realized that my body is aging and I won't be able to something like that forever. I was nearly a decade or more older than everyone else in the class.  

I have started using retinol cream every night but regardless I have wrinkles in my forehead and fine lines under my eyes that don't go away.  I look at pictures from when I got married and finally understand why everyone was telling me that Ryan and I looked so young.  Magazine articles always segregate fashion or makeup or skin care in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.  Now I suppose I'm supposed to pay attention to the 30s section.  The bad news is that my best beauty fix ...to make me feel good/look good or feel like I look good...is still to get a tan (second only to the prospect but so far non-reality of losing 20lbs).  I don't get the chance to tan too often (which is probably a good thing) but I still feel a million dollars better when I have one.  Bring on the wrinkles and skin cancer! 

So on September 6th I will be 30 years old.  My little sister Cali will turn 21 on September 5th (tomorrow!).  I was 9 years old when I FINALLY found out that I had a sister, born the day before my birthday.  I've always said she was my early birthday present from God.  So while I've been thinking about this past decade and wondering about my next decade, I've compiled a list for my sister Cali that I thought she might find interesting.  

10 things I learned in my 20s: 

1) To not be driven by ambition as I was in my early/mid 20s....it makes me stressed, anxious and unhappy. 

2) That I'm happiest when belonging to a community and am able to invest in people and a life outside of work. 

3) How to be present and not so wrapped up in my head (started making it a habit). 

This article from the blog zenhabits.net really helped me.  I usually rush through taking showers because I feel like it's keeping me from my day....but I've started practicing presence and when I do, I enjoy showers and the a.m. getting ready routine so much more.  

4) To incorporate personal bliss often into daily life. 

5) Don't make decisions based on fear.  There will always be one good reason not to do things.  Not making a decision IS making a decision. 

I so often hear people making excuses not to do something based on fear.  It's easy to do and I try to be very attentive to fear creeping into my decisions.  I recently read this comment in a book and I think it is so true.  We too often let the one good reason not to do something stop us from doing it, despite the several good reasons there still are for going ahead.  

"I soon observed there is always one good reason for not taking a proposed action.  Often four good reasons may say 'go,' but one valid reason says 'stay.'  It has happened so often that I can almost call it 'Snyder's Rule.'  I was challenged when I came across Ecclesiastes 11:4: 'He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.' ...Ask yourself, 'If I don't do it now, when will I do it? Am I just taking the easy way out?'" - Al Snyder 

6)  If you are not proactive, life will happen to you.  Don't just talk about things you want to do, do them or schedule to do them. 

Earlier in life you will talk about things you want to do someday or try someday or be someday....by the end of your 30s you have discovered WAY more things you want to do than you can fit into your life so start doing those things right away because if you don't you'll get to the end of your 20s and feel like you've lost of decade of opportunity.  

‎"As I don't know about tomorrow, I never save the best for later." -Paulo Coelho

7) How to eat to feel good (non-processed, slowly, etc.)   Thank you Michael Pollen! :) 

8) Minimalism!!  So freeing! 

9) I learned and keep learning a lot about love.  Writing about it would take pages and pages.  Maybe someday.  

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to... us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2

10)  It isn't sacrificial or glamorous to love hurting, oppressed people.  It's the same as loving your family or friends.  Once you have created a space where you personally develop friendships with people who have suffered injustices, it will be the most natural thing in the world to fight for their dignity in any way you can.   If you allow yourself to romanticize it or believe that it is a huge sacrifice, it will be easy to decide it is too big for you to do.  It's not.  And in our globally connected world it is entirely possible for every single person to love at least one other person and make their life better.  

"We can not do great things, only small things with great love."

- Mother Teresa

I've been thinking a lot about my 30s too.  That could probably be another post but here are a few quick thoughts.  

I hope to learn/practice in my 30s:

- To actually do silent retreats, practice solitude, etc.  Creating space for solitude is one area of my life that always slips to lowest priority.  It's time.  

- To take better care of my body (yoga, dance, regain more flexibility).  Beach detox - DO IT.  

- Some activities that I am still waiting to do properly or haven't done in a long time (sailing, acting) 

- A few more travel destinations that are on the top of my extensive list.  I won't get everywhere in my life but in the next few years I want to be sure we travel to India/Nepal (climb to base camp of Mount Everest while my body can still pull it off!), Israel/Jordan, more of Southeast Asia (of course) and fingers crossed for Greece/Turkey.  

- And for anyone who is wondering....nothing set in stone but if we are going to be blessed with a kid/kids....we think by the time I'm 35 it'll be time to move in that direction.  

I just read a novel about a women turning 50.  I'm more than halfway there but for now I'm pretty satisfied with being 30.  I have at least one things going for me: my neck skin is staying more or less in place for now.  :D  

bliss

In one of my classes I was teaching to my university students in Korea last winter, we talked about bucket lists.  We talked about what bucket lists are and discussed some things we each had on our own bucket lists.  Bucket lists are kind of a fun thing to have but what I don't like about them is that they are future oriented, and a lot of the time people never accomplish the things on their list.  I feel that they are slightly worthless or else create a sense of wishful thinking.  I told my students that instead of a bucket list, I had created something I called my bliss list.   I've noticed there are some things that make me feel relaxed, joyful, blissful.   I'm not sure when I started doing this but I started keeping a list...maybe a few years ago?....to remind me of small, easy things I can and want to include in my life on a regular basis because of how they make me feel.  I like that most of the things on my list I can incorporate regularly in my life and when I can't....just reading this list makes me feel good.   I just thought that maybe this is my subconscious way of making my own list of "My Favorite Things" like Maria on the Sound of Music.  Which also makes me think I should add the Sound of Music to my bliss list.  Anyway....I'm posting my bliss list below.  And since that class I've strayed from my principles and started creating a bucket list (I know, I know...but a little wishful thinking might be okay) so I'll post that as well.  

Bliss List 

Orchids

Deep breathing

Stretching

Basil and Cilantro

Smoothies (watermelon mint, grape we drank at Malcolm's in Manilla)

Simplicity

Moderation

Meditation and Solitude

Reading - classics and nonfiction

Bookstores

Coffee shops (learn to make yummy drinks at home?)

Nature and Water

Kayaking

Camping

Chocolate - good quality and dark

Big windows and a lot of light

Paisley patterns

Yummy smelling candles (green apple, mistletoe, etc)

Massages

Taking walks

Limes

Key lime pie/ice cream

Jasmine tea (especially in a glass teapot)

Clair De Lune and Arabesque

Contemporary dance

Acting / Theater / Broadway Shows

Hammocks

Going to the movie theater alone

Bookstores

Sailing 

Art Museums

Relaxing music

Girl weekend trips

Old movies

Audrey Hepburn

Quotes

Watching the Sound of Music 

Bucket List 

Spend Christmas and New Years in NYC (including a NYE party where we dress up and go to a big fancy party with champagne)

Be Dolly Levi in Hello Dolly 

Go to a Cirque du Soleil show 

Girls cruise, girls trip to Paris

Sailing (properly)

Road trips (Texas, South, New Orleans, Keys, Outer Banks) and (Maine, Vermont, Prince Edwards Island)

Have a wedding anniversary party 

Silent retreat (Abby of Gethsemane?)....detox retreat.....etc?  

thoughts on creativity with an uncreative title

Abstract Landscape Photography by Frances Seward - stunning art I stumbled across that I think is so intriguing.  I have no idea how she does this.  You can see more of her work here. 

NOTE:  I wrote this as a note on Facebook in September last year.  If you happened to read it on my FB I apologize but I wanted to repost it on the blog as I'd like to have these thoughts compiled in one place.  In re-reading it, I thought it was interesting how I referred to the idea of writing a blog and alas...now I have one!  :)   

Okay....on to the original post!  P.S. I have a couple update notes written at the end.  

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"The longer you live, the better you will be able to understand your struggling inner nature, and you will be able to find an outlet for the power that it gives you.  Some people write, some sing, some raise a family, some join law firms, others plant roses.  How we express our sensual, spiritual and intellectual selves define who we are."  - Christopher de Vink in Compelled to Write To You

I have been thinking a lot about creativity lately.   I love this quote about how we all find (or hopefully find) outlets for expressing ourselves.  I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that my greatest outlet for expressing myself is through relationships.   Although I have found myself desiring more solitude in my life (at least in theory), I most certainly depend on relational connections to find fulfillment and purpose in life.   

The last few years of my life have been centered around a theme of community.  After university I struggled with the post-college life.   I threw myself into my career because working in media/marketing demands it and because I enjoyed what I did.  However, not belonging to a community in the sense that I had during school left me feeling empty and lonely.  Despite having many friends, the demands of working in corporate America left no time for pursuing depth in those relationships in a fulfilling way.  For me, balance was elusive.  Moving to South Korea and entering the world of travelers was like re-opening a door to a community-oriented lifestyle and I blossomed.  The further away I was from my work in America, the more I could see how unhealthy of a lifestyle it had been for me.  For the past three years, pursuing relationships and community has been a top priority in my life.  

Of course, while relationships are beautiful and valuable, there are always two sides of the coin.  People can "hurt you, desert you, break your heart if you let them" (truth via James Taylor).   Or less dramatically, investing in people can just wear you out.   I have many personal interests that I want to pursue.  I am sure that balance between relationship time and solitude time is a healthy way to live.  But it is natural and easy for me to push aside any individual pursuits  because there are always relational opportunities that seem more important or interesting in the moment.  

So to get back to the point, one outlet that I feel has taken a major backseat in my life is creative pursuits.  Ryan and I have started new jobs teaching English at a university in South Korea and will be here for about six months.  We live outside of Seoul in a small town and have a very easy work schedule.  We should only be working about 20-25 hours per week and have three day weekends.  I have been looking forward to this time as a period to rest and invest in some creative interests.  

In college I used to "joke" that I'm just not a creative person.   I was very involved in the communication department (my major). I was producer of our television program, editor of the yearbook, and filled almost every possible job available at the radio station.  But of all these commitments, I seemed to be at my best in roles where I directed and organized the truly creative people, rather then being assigned the creative projects myself.    

This said, when I was younger I truly enjoyed being involved in the arts.  I used to write short stories and wanted to be an author.  I loved, loved, loved theatre in high school (I loved the spotlight and always preferred to be leading lady).  I played and taught piano and was involved in choir.  When I started university, I had piano and vocal scholarships which I eventually gave up because as I became mega involved in the communications department I gradually lost the time and motivation for the practice and involvement required to keep them.  I decided I had to prioritize and music fell through the cracks.  

I am drawn to TOO many artistic pursuits.  I want to be a photographer,  a graphic designer, a painter,  a contemporary dancer, an actress, a writer, and more.  But I also want to be good at all of these things, which is impossible.  My sister was a dancer for years and it required almost daily dance lessons. I don't want to commit that much to any art....but I also find it hard to accept mediocrity when I am surrounded by so many extremely talented friends.  Can I accept being a jack of all trades, master of none?     

I have been tempted by the idea of blogging.  I want to be a better writer and have an outlet for my thoughts.  Ryan and I were talking about writing and he brought up the point of how good writing is so much about being a practiced writer.  Every time I think of committing to a blog I face the reality of how I am.  Writing regularly takes discipline.  I have avoided blogging because I have little doubt that I will quickly let it become a pressure and something else on my to-do list rather than a joy.  

I have wanted to paint for a long time and have decided to try it during these six months.  Even so, I have hinting feelings that painting might also feel like drudgery rather than fulfilling. 

One night I was reflecting on why I shrink away from artistic outlets when in my head they seem so desirable.  Have I just become that lazy?  I knew that I truly loved theater and music when I was in high school.  What had happened to me since then?  I started thinking about when I watch So You Think You Can Dance (BEST show and not to be confused with Dancing with the Stars) and even Glee (guilty pleasure), how I am so drawn in by the relational depth and community that is experienced by the dancing partners or portrayed among high school glee club.  I resonate with it because I have experienced it.  There was something so binding about putting on a show in high school theatre.  And I miss it and I would love to experience it again.  

I realized that I was hitting on a personal breakthrough in what makes creativity meaningful to me. Again....the common theme of relationships and community!  

So now I am left with determining how to apply this in my life.  Traveling makes it  difficult to find creative communities.  They are sometimes available if you are willing to stay in one place for an extended period of time but when I have thought about searching them out while living in South Korea it has felt forced and unfulfilling.   I have generally thought that there are seasons of life and this is not my current season for theater or contemporary dance (probably the two activities that would bring me the most creative fulfillment).   

I do know that I have the ability and time to try some more individual creative outlets like painting and writing and possibly improving photography.  I don't know if I will find them fulfilling.  Maybe they will be a drudgery.  Maybe they are worth it as a discipline and maybe I will find joy in them.  

I think what I will do is try out the discipline and see if it turns to enjoyment.  If not, maybe I will accept that for me, creative outlets have to have a relational element and determine to find classes or group efforts.  If I ever do start a blog, I suppose I will have to learn to write shorter entries!  Or maybe not.  My writing tends to be a little self-absorbed and more for my benefit than for others (case in point, this post).  Maybe writing is the one area where I truly am more individually focused than communally....? 

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Update

1)  Obviously I haven't succeeded so far in writing shorter posts on the blog. :)   I started re-reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott today (lovely book on writing) and was reminded that I need to show up and write if I ever hope to improve! 

2) In this post I expressed my desire to explore painting.  While in South Korea I tried putting paint on canvas a couple times on my own just to see how I liked it.  I loved the colors and texture of paint but quickly decided I needed to take a class.  The purpose being both for the actual direction and because I hoped that having classmates would add a relational dimension that would help the process of painting match with my personality more.  Now that I'm in the states for the summer I'm taking an oil painting class and can tentatively say (after only two weeks) that I like it! 

3) When I was teaching my students at Konkuk University in South Korea we talked about the arts one week and on one night in particular we were talking about creativity.  I had found this article on one of my favorite blogs: The No. 1 Habit of Highly Creative People.  It's a great post....but in a nutshell it says that SOLITUDE is the number one habit of highly creative people.  It was then that I realized I'm doomed! :)  

culture shock

Moving to the other side of the world requires that you stop blogging for two months.  Not sure if you knew that.  

I just noticed that my last post was titled "homeward bound" which incidentally is also one of the great films of my childhood.  Michael J Fox is brilliant even when he is voicing a dog and I cried at the end when Shadow finally shows up at the crest of the hill no matter how many times I watched it.  Those triumphant orchestra scores get me every time. 

Ryan and I are home now.  Michigan has been stubbornly holding on to the cold and rainy weather in what I believe is an effort to punish us for leaving.   We spent 10 days in LA visiting my brother Jais and other friends in the area.  My parents flew in as well so we could all check out Jais' new LA life.  After that Ryan and I spent a week in Seattle visiting friends that we had not seen in much too long.  There was heaps of rain but that's okay because every other time we've been in Seattle the weather has been stunningly beautiful. I somehow felt that I wasn't ever experiencing the real Seattle and this trip rectified that.  Finally we flew to Detroit and have been slowly settling in the past few weeks.   Since arriving in the states we've been really crummy about taking pictures.  I'll post a few.  I feel redundant posting them since they're already on facebook but I have some friends (or one friend rather = Liz) who follows my blog but doesn't use FB. 

Ryan and I in LA with our luggage... which grew from our backpacks to include the carry-ons... partially because of food we wanted to bring back with us. Going to have to slim down before heading out again.  

Ryan noticed that the Academy Awards were scheduled for the day after we all flew in so we went to see what we could see... we inched our way up to almost the front by the fences.  See Oscar?  

Colin Firth, Amy Adams, Robert Downey Jr, Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett (I am quite sure but didn't realize at the time), Donald Trump....and a handful of others.   

We went to the Price Is Right and my brother got called down at the beginning of the show.  It was so so fun (you might not be able to tell my excitement from my face).  We were right behind the bidders so we were on camera all through the show!

Jais with Drew Carey (who is no Bob Barker I might add).  He got on stage near the end of the show and ended up with about $2,000 and some prizes.    

I'm excited about spending the summer in the states. I have definitely dealt with some culture shock since getting home.   More so than last time I came home.  There is something about western culture that seems to creep into people's spirits and maybe it's more obvious when you've been away....the way perfume smells strong at first.   There seems to be this underlying struggle with disconnectedness and discontentedness.   I want to live with connection and contentedness and American culture is masterful at robbing that away.  

One of my favorite books is called The Geography of Bliss.  The author Eric Weiner is a NPR reporter and he wonders why the people in some countries rate so high in happiness while others don't.   So he travels around to determine what makes the happiest countries so happy or the miserable countries so miserable.  Weiner refers to a study which ranks the U.S. as only the 23rd happiest country.  Which is interesting to me because when I talk to some people in America there seems to be an underlying, strongly held belief that we are better off or have a superior approach to life than the people in most other countries.  

The author makes a number of fascinating observations and discoveries but what he finds to be one of the most consistent indicators of happiness is sense of community and belonging.  This book got me thinking about how much our culture impacts our values, what we think is good.  I think American culture is historically steeped in the cowboy complex....believing that a strong individual who can pull themselves up by the boot straps and handle their own problems is more virtuous than someone who is co-dependant on others.  For example, we think it's embarrassing for older people to live with their parents because it means they are lazy (which is certainly what I tend to think)....even though in many cultures generational families always live together and it is the honorable thing to take care of each other.  There are benefits to both ways of thinking but just the fact that we are programmed to certain values is interesting.  And I think the programming of our culture can make real community a hard thing to achieve.   

Here's an excerpt from the book: 

"The self-help industrial complex hasn't helped.  By telling us that happiness lives inside us, it's turned us inward just when we should be looking outward.  Not to money but to other people, to community and to the kind of human bonds that so clearly are the sources of our happiness. 

Americans work longer hours and commute greater distances than virtually any other people in the world.  Commuting in particular, has been found to be detrimental to our happiness as well as our physical health.  Every minute spent on the road is one less minute than we can spend with family and friends - the kind of activities, in other words, that make us happy.  

Political scientist Robert Putnam makes a convincing case in his book Bowling Alone that our sense of connection is fraying.  We spend less time visiting family and friends; we belong to fewer community groups.  Increasingly, we lead fragmented lives."  

I guess one of the reasons I don't feel drawn to living in the states is I thrive on relationships and I know how hard it was for me personally to maintain a strong sense of community within our culture after graduating university.  Working long hours isn't just for those trying to climb the ladder or keep up with the Jones'.   When I lived in the states I consistently worked 60-70 hours a week for a $25,000 salary (before taxes).  When I hear my friends talking about their jobs it seems pretty consistent that just about any American employer seems to think that we owe them our lives for our paycheck no matter how small it is.  I used to beat myself up trying to find "balance" in my life until I left and was able to experience work in another country where I still had time and energy for relationships, for community. We were also able to actually build savings and take long periods off work to spend time with family/friends and pursue other interests (travel, volunteering, etc).   I realized maybe the problem wasn't so much me not being able to balance as it was a culture where companies take all the best of our energy and leave us with very little left to invest in the true priorities of our life.   

Discontentedness is something else I sense when I am at home.   I don't have rich friends who are buying expensive houses or anything like that.  Most of my friends are barely making ends meet.   But advertisers are geniuses and we have been left (myself included) wishing we had more money so we could be less stressed and free not to worry so much. 

"We give lip service to the notion that money can't buy happiness but act as if it does.  When asked what would improve the quality of their lives, American's number one answer was money, according to a University of Michigan study."

BUT

"Recent research into happiness, or subjective well-being, reveals that money does indeed buy happiness.  Up to a point.  That point, though, is surprisingly low, about fifteen thousand dollars a year.  After that, the link between economic growth and happiness evaporates."

I think this is why you hear about poor people in third world countries being happier than we are.  Not if they are starving or cannot meet their basic needs of healthcare and education.....but after that money apparently doesn't impact our happiness.  They have community while we have commercials.   When I'm living in my bamboo hut at the Bamboo School in Thailand I'm satisfied with my backpack of possessions.  But if I was living long term in America I'm just not sure how long I would last before the discontent would start crawling in.  

To clarify, I do not mean to say that everyone in America is disconnected or discontented. Some people with different personalities than me can respond to the culture better than I.  But in our case, the only option I see for living in the states with the connection and contentedness that Ryan and I have decided is a priority for our lives is possibly living in a type of communal environment where everyone works part time, invests in the local neighborhood together, has a community garden, shares expenses (like cars, etc)...something like that.  And people do it in America and seem to make it work.  I'm not sure if I would like it.  Maybe I'll try it someday but I feel like it's an uphill battle in the midst of American culture and it's been easier for us in other cultures.  I'm lazy I guess.  

Well kids....given that I had no intention of even writing about this when I started this blog....I think I've said plenty for now.  

homeward bound

Two weeks from today we'll be on an airplane heading towards the states!  It's been almost 14 months since we were home and I'm a tiny bit excited.  I'm looking forward to a lot of things including....

Because rice is dominant in Asia, bread is often used more as a sweet snack, making it almost impossible to find good whole grain bread.  Even in New Zealand, where surely there must have been quality bread if I really knew where to look, nothing could compare, for me, to Ezekiel Bread.  I can't wait to putz around the aisles of Trader Joe's and buy my Ezekiel Bread, lemon curd, kefir and three buck chuck!

Lake Michigan will always be my pride and joy no matter how I toy around with the ocean in different lands. 

I promised myself after I saw dixie cups of cherries selling for the equivelent of about $3-4 dollars in South Korea, that I would never be hesitant about paying $2.99 a pound for them at home again.  I'm super keen to visit Traverse City during cherry festival time....I've never before and I want this summer to be my first!

You might be noticing that food plays a large role in what I'm looking forward to at home.  Cilantro makes life better. 

Basil also makes life better....fresh bruschetta with goat cheese is in my future!

Meeting Michigan friends for loooong chats over Michigan coffee.

Kinda sorta excited to see these people. :) 

And these people. 

And these people.

Truth be told, despite what it may look like....precious people are what I'm most looking forward to....even more than food.  

white space

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. - Hans Hofmann

You don't have to live by their rules if you don't require their rewards. -Nathan Johnson 

The more you have, the more you are occupied, the less you give.- Mother Teresa

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it - Henry David Thoreau

Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful in your life - Unknown

I used to really like this book my mom had called Clutter's Last Stand by Don Aslett.  I liked the illustrations.  And I just liked books in general.  And I liked reading his tips on how to eliminate clutter and how to put pictures directly on the wall instead of pictures on a shelf on a wall because it would trap less dust and be easier to clean (that tip might have come from one of his other books that my mom had that I also liked reading).  

I guess I had a good foundation in getting rid of stuff.  Mom would regularly send bags to goodwill and yard sales were usually at least a yearly event.  When I was maybe 12 my friend Katie and I decided that we were going to de-clutter her decidedly cluttered bedroom one weekened.  We had a trash box and would shout our mantra "Pitch it!!!!!" as we threw out old stuffed animals.  Her brothers whined a lot and confiscated probably most of those stuffed animals.  

The other week we were talking about travel and culture in my high level English classes.  I was teaching the students what "travel light" and "live outside of a suitcase" mean.   Traveling has introduced a new level of minimalism into my life and I'm passionately devoted to not owning stuff.   I love not owning a car.  I love not owning a house.   I love not owning half the IKEA catalogue.  I love that Ryan and I have spent more than a year living primarily out of backpacks.  I love the way travelers pass around possessions as we need them/stop needing them.   Things that we needed we were usually able to borrow or find for free or so cheap that we could just throw them out or pass them on when we were finished with them.  Ryan's flip flops broke when we were working at the Bamboo School and he was able to replace them with a donated pair that were too big for any of the kids.  He needed a scarf for when we got back to the bitter Korea winter and found that in the donations too.  Yes....we get what we need from the refugees' and orphans' leftovers.  But it works out! 

I love not being responsible for repairing, storing, moving and protecting heaps of possessions.  I love the free feeling.

When we were living in New Zealand we bought a kind of campervan that its previous owners had named Steve.  We figured that even if we couldn't re-sell Steve he would still save us money because we could live out of him.  And if we could re-sell him (which we were able to do) all the better.  But even owning Steve for just a couple months reminded me of how much I love not owning things that can require a lot of repair.  He had several quirks and a few problems we had checked out and I felt like I was regularly willing him to work well for just awhile longer.  I was so relieved to sell him and go back to our car-less existence.  

It's interesting how you really can do without things.  When we first got to Korea three years ago and I had shut off my American cell phone I was in a panic to get a replacement.  South Korea is ahead of the states in technology and gadgets and everyone is dependent on their phones.  But for a few reasons we didn't get a phone right away and after a couple months we decided not to get one because we  realized we didn't really need it like we thought we would (facebook and skype were usually good enough). We lived for almost a year and a half in Korea without a cell phone.  I remember one night when I was lost and wandering around trying to find friends cursing myself for not having a phone.  But generally you get used to it.  I like the convenience of having a phone but I don't feel so dependent on it as I did when I lived in the states.  When we did buy a phone, our friend helped us get a $15 phone off the street in Thailand and a $1 sim card with super cheap international phone calls.  The last time I was in America it was a bit of culture shock to see everyone on their smart phones (at least that's what they call them in Korea....is that even what they're called back home?)  

I was recently talking with my classes about advertising and marketing.  We were talking about how advertisers use association, subliminal messages, product placement and color to create feelings of discontentedness.  I used to work in marketing and I really love the creativity behind it.  I still love going to the mall at Christmas time despite or maybe because of the commercialization of it all.  But it's a lot more relaxing being in those environments when I don't feel the tension of whether I should get sucked into buying a certain product or not.  Sure, it's a really good sale price.  Sure, I really like it.  But will it fit in the backpack? If not...let it go.  

Below are some pictures from our travels that I associate with simplicity and minimalism.  For me personally, a shopping therapy trip to the mall doesn't compare!    

Ryan with one of said backpacks. 

Lake Matheson, New Zealand

Twelve Apostles, Great Ocean Road, Australia

Nadi, Fiji

Polihale Beach, Kauai, Hawaii (camping)

Si Phan Don, Laos

Near Chiang Khong, Thailand